The Crossword Centre Clue-Writing Competition

CCCWC May competition voters’ comments

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A clue to DISMAYED.
118 comments were received for this competition (from 16 competitors, 1 other)
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Comments on the competition
1.
28 stood out — could it be that Mr Parfitt again? Wooden spoon inevitably to 15.
 
Comments on the clues
1. 500 added to 500 is 1000 – are you shocked?
1.Nice fresh approach & the unusual ordering of the cryptic elements just about works.
2.Excellent, and much the best of a surprisingly poor crop of entries.
3.I like this overall, but I don't understand why "are" clues "a".
4.How does the second D go to the end?
5.Good wordplay, but hardly a shocking revelation.
6.Not sure about Are = A, but brilliant otherwise.
7.A shame the last bit a=are and you=ye is step too far for the solver – 1/2 pt.
8.Not keen on "are" for "a"
2. 'A doctrine, indeed!', theologian scoffs, appalled
1."scoffs" is a wonderful indicator for "inside"
3. A month inside, upset and dead unhappy.
1.You cannot use INSIDE to mean IN SIDE.
2.Running in and side together as one word not good enough for a competitive entry I feel
3.Surface is a little tautological
4. Alarmed that Diana, the first is perhaps chief (8)
1.'Diana, the first' does not indicate the first letter of Diana and CHIEF is too vague to mean ED.
2.'That' has no function, 'may' is not a synonym of 'perhaps' (try it!), and surface makes no sense with the comma
3.Surface not appealing
4.Surface makes little sense
5.Always make, sure commas are used correctly.
6.Surface has superfluous comma and doesn't make much sense
5. Appalled old maid educated following Diana Dors' finale
1.Not smooth surface reading
2.Surface contrived
6. Appalled – sweet potatoes sent back – inside perished
1.Doesn't read very naturally
7. Audible jeer caused upset
1.Neat, but DIS=DISS so 'Jeer caused audible upset' would have been better
8. Back inside you made yams – I devoured with alarm
1.Surface not appealing
2.I don't think yams need to be made
9. Blue dye? Madder is wrong — you don't want red, silly!
1.Nicely worked, but not sure about SILLY as anagram indicator.
2.Nice, though 'blue' isn't a very fair synonym of 'dismayed' for me. Still worth points.
3.I hope the cleverness of this clue is recognised. For me it's the clear stand-out of a generally below par bunch.
10. Change for midday sun to keep English inside, discouraged
1.Nice play on mad dogs etc but not sure you can use 'sun' for 's' as part of anagram.
2.Ref. to mad dogs and Englishmen is a nice spot but clue is not quite there somehow.
11. Declined to eat up veg, far from happy
1.A bit forced, especially with 'eat up'
12. Depressed princess made society extremely uncomfortable (8)
1.Nice, but I'm not sure 'uncomfortable' works alone as an anagrind.
13. Depressed,took a month off ?
1.I'd enjoy this more if there weren't a month in every word this year.
2.A nice effort, but might be a stretch
3.This sort of unorthodoxy needs more than a question mark to alert the solver
4.Don't understand this?
14. Designated driver carries a single seamy drunk in disarray.
1.Definition questionable
2.Not an engaging surface
15. Dis May Ed was saddened. (8)
1.There is no cryptic element.
2.This takes 'hiding in plain sight' to a new level!
3.A little too obvious, I think.
4.The whole word practically given as is
5.The answer is not very well disguised
6.Ummm?
7.Too obvious
16. Disappointed in yob, girl and boy.
1.You can't use YOB< to indicate SID<
2.Dislike clues that use names (since there are hundreds of them). This uses three, and 'yob' for 'dis' is too indirect for my taste, sorry
3.Yob = dis is a stretch too far for a solver, I'm afraid.
4.Not much of a fan of clues where you have to guess names; a small bit OK, but three of them?
5.Yob = dis is too indirect
6.Too convoluted – if you (can) apply logic like this, yob could be det, bor, mot etc.
7.clue for "dis" much too indirect
17. Discouraged? Time to adopt a philosophy, Miliband
1.TIME=DAY a bit iffy – Miliband needs a '?'
2.I struggle to suppress a yawn at this type of clue, sorry
18. Do enemy aids make one this?
1.Technically smooth but not sure about "enemy aids"
2.Don't agree that this is an &lit, and can't see a logical connection
3.What are enemy aids?
4."enemy aids" not very natural phrase in the surface
19. Dragons originally turned my ideas down
1.Very good, but only with awareness of TV show
2.Couldn't figure out if the surface conveys anything meaningful
3.Beautifully constructed surface.
4.Very nicely constructed clue.
5.Nice ref. to Dragons' Den – the "originally" is a bit of a weakness (and is 'down' fair as def?)
20. Feeling distressed that my tailless ass died wandering
1.The 'that' is extraneous
2.Surface appears a bit forced
3.The 'that' seems to be redundant
4.'Tailless' is obviously gratuitous. How about 'ass almost…' instead?
5.Made me smile.
21. Gloomy dacoit leader is crazy about you (8)
1.Interesting choice of word to clue the D! Not sure 'gloomy' is quite 'dismayed'.
2.'Dacoit leader' doesn't make it D for me, though some may be OK with this
22. Having stained clothing is Mother bothered?
1.You mean D(ISMA)YED. Clue not bad
23. Heard to insult servant girl? One is appalled!
1.Why the 'One'?
2.One of the better homophones.
3."one is appalled" suggests a noun
25. Homework includes review of an original paper on drugs. Daughter's not impressed (8)
1.Query 'drugs' for E, not convinced by definition, rather long for a so-so surface story.
2.I don't think 'not impressed' is a strong enough def., and E isn't really 'drugs'
26. Hopping mad, yes I'd be disappointed!
1.'X be Y' isn't really English
2.Nice idea, but let down by the 'be'.
3.Nice effort, didn't like the intrusive 'be'
4.'Become' would be better than 'be' for the cryptic reading.
27. Horrified diners insipidly served messy and yucky egg dip starters
1.A bit clumsey, but worth a point!
2.I think an initial letter clue has to be a bit more concealed to win some points.
3.Bit clunky and forced
4.messy and yucky are the same thing
28. Horrified homophobe's conclusion: "My dad is queer!"
1.The surface reading made me laugh
29. Horrified Midas' unfortunate final solitary embrace – ending in terminal gold.
1.TERMINAL is redundant
2.This clue definitely has the "Midas touch"…
30. Horrified scholar catches couple at end of Kingsley Amis novel
1.Does scholar = DD?
31. I'm sad d'ye fancy?
1.A rather unnatural &lit for &lit's sake, and an odd way to clue an adjective
2.bit of an obvious anagram
32. I'm 'sorry', 'gutted', 'dead upset'
1.Best of the &lits, but rather boring fare and the 3 defs don't seem to nail the sense of 'dismayed'
33. Intimidated, Sid left yapping maid (8)
1.Not happy with the reversal indicator
34. Mashed yams died broken hearted
1.Surface doesn't appeal much
2.I've never seen yams anthropomorphised before!
35. My dad is out taking ecstasy – I'm appalled!
1."I'm" doesn't quite work
36. New dad? Yes, I'm overwhelmed! (8)
1."overwhelmed" doesn't convey "dismayed" to me.
2.Good surface, but I think a better def. could be found
3.The def is inaccurate.
4.Very pleasing – a coherent image not involving yams – well done.
38. Perhaps turned color, as I'm upset inside?!
1.Points deducted for American spelling!
2.Don't think this is quite an &lit.
39. Perhaps with this applied, could be sad (8)
1.Makes no sense: would have to be "could be be"
2.I think you mean 'could be be sad'
40. Ridiculing my ideas after start of debate made me sad.
1.'me' is superfluous
2.I like the wordplay, but not the 'made me' part.
41. Shaken (or stirred initially) when darling buds are withered all around
1.Get the idea, but mixing Bond and Shakespeare et al doesn't seem to fit
43. Shocked to see the tubers uprooted and perished all around.
1.'to see the' superfluous
47. Syrian leader might be going into breakdown! Is Assad finally horrified?
1.'be' and 'is' both redundant
50. Upset as rejected vegetables perished outside
1.Best of the yams
51. Upset in one of the Norfolk Broads spoken of
1.Doesn't really make any sense
2.Needs a question mark I think
3.Broads = maids. I don't get what Norfolk is doing either?
52. Upset? Onset of much existentialist despair, and I'd say.
1.Not keen on 'upset' having a double role like this
53. Upset when Southern girl stopped to drop off diamonds (8)
1.If I am reading this correctly – May can define a girl, but does girl really define May?
54. Yes, Dad, I'm confused and afraid
1.Is "dismayed" really "afraid"?
2.One of the best of the dad anagrams, but doesn't mean much
55. Yes, I am in a panic, beset by extremes of dread, stricken with anxiety. . .
1.A bit verbose
2.Good structure but does panic, dread, anxiety convey "dismay"?